The fine art of swishing (and spitting) wine

You're finally at the big wine tasting, holding a glass of shimmering contents. You swirl, you sniff, you sip, you swish.

And then you spit.

That's right, spit. Never mind the wagging fingers of past authority figures. Those same parents, den mothers and church ladies also would not want you drinking every drop, staggering through the aisles and pronouncing each wine fabuloso.

Massive wine tastings are not drinkfests, although that can be hard to tell from advertisements for unlimited sips of hundreds of wines, or the happy music playing, or even the little voice in your head that says you're not really tasting wine or really getting your money's worth until you swallow it.

You are.

Except for the most anticipated wines, you must spit.

Alcohol, even little tablespoons of it, adds up quickly depending on your weight, what you have - or don't have - in your stomach, and even your gender. Studies have shown that women have less of the enzyme that processes alcohol and are more at risk for intoxication.

If your objective is to discover great new wines, you'll want to be able to live long enough - heck, stand long enough - to find them again.

Here are some tasting tips gathered from the pros:

• Save your palate. Eat at least 30 minutes before you go to a tasting. You can nibble between tastes, but don't trick your taste buds with foods that contain vinegar, artichokes or sugar.

• Start with lighter, drier wines and work toward the heavier, sweeter ones.

• Set the glass on a table and swirl the wine to mix in oxygen and make the aroma more available. After three to four swirls, back out of the way to let other people get a pour.

• Sniff the contents. Get your nose right into the glass. You can do this before and after swirling to see the difference. The mouth detects only sweet, salt, bitter and acid, but the nose tells many more tales. Don't interfere with others' sense of smell by smoking or wearing heavy perfume.

• Sip and swish it around in your mouth. Don't worry about copying the connoisseurs who gurgle, burble and make a symphony of sounds. The point is to get wine throughout your mouth and keep it in there eight to 10 seconds to get full flavor.

• Spit with pride. Ask for a disposable cup or bring one. If you're nervous, practice at home. Lots of other folks will be doing it at the big tasting, so it will seem normal. If only a communal spit-bucket is available, avoid drama: Don't spit across another person.

• Save yourself and swallow only your favorites. Keep notes on what they are. Keep your opinions to yourself until all the people within earshot have tasted. Let them focus on the wine, too.

• Supply yourself with a napkin and wear dark clothing.