Wine and chaps of a certain vintage

WILL curly-locked oenophiliac Monty Waldin pull it orf by producing biodynamic wine on a modest rented vineyard in the Roussillon region of the French Pyrenees, with only a donkey for a companion? Or will the English wine writer's 18-month-long, 24/7 bid end in telegenic disaster, anger and tears?

Actually, Monty's already been and gorn and dunnit. As a reality series depicting one man's desperate battle against overwhelming elemental forces, Chateau Monty thus lacks certain key ingredients, like drama and tension. Where Deadliest Catch has the Atlantic's raging chill, Chateau Monty has shy creatures that nibble vines under cover of night.

There's already a jolly spin-off book available which charts his quest's success. In addition, you can right now order cases of Monty's Red 2007 Vin de Pays des Cotes Catalanes (yours for £89), savouring its "aromas of young, herby red fruits ... a lively, juicy mouthful of charmingly rustic hedgerow flavours".

So what makes Chateau Monty worth a watch? For one thing, expert gardeners may find something to think about - or perhaps chortle at - in his adherence to extreme biodynamic strictures when producing wine. These include harvesting according to lunar cycles - and astrological star signs - along with a reliance on nature, not pesticides and chemical fertilisers, to protect and feed the vines.

There's also fun in Waldin's naive logistical approach to wine production, something which sometimes prompts the ire of his demanding glamourpuss girlfriend, Silvana, when she jets in from Italy. Indeed, the book version of Chateau Monty records her sneering incredulity at harvest-time, as she asks him: "And your estimate is based on what exactly, Mr Monty Waldin?"

Unlike Silvana, Dr Alice Roberts is never scornful, one of the many qualities which seems to have endeared her to a male group who, in an e-mail to me, style themselves the Fervent Worshippers of the Omnipotent Alice Roberts, or Fwoar. "Please review Dr Alice Roberts: Don't Die Young again so there'll be a picture of her in the paper," they plead. Anything to oblige, chaps, but no picture this time.

The health-advice show's final instalment wasn't a vintage one. Too reliant on cheesy and predictable telly-gimmickry, it was, with Dr Roberts beginning her demonstration of how the body's many components work in harmony by conducting a symphony orchestra - and failing.

Nevertheless, you wound up learning stuff by default, even though it tended towards biological trivia rather than essential notes on corporeal maintenance. Every day, the average human racks up 100,000 heartbeats and 25,000 breaths. And did you know that our bodies sport 60 miles of blood vessels?

But there were facts that will help you counteract the effects of increasing age while staving off a premature visit from the Grim Reaper.

According to Dr Roberts, us old 'uns can stay fitter for longer by performing "any activity that leaves you warm and slightly out of breath, five times a week for 30 minutes at a time".

Dr Roberts cited wholesome examples: dog-walking, cycling or taking the stairs at work instead of the lift. If you're a Fwoar member, the same effect will evidently result from watching an episode of Dr Alice Roberts: Don't Die Young.

Now that the series has ended, I trust Fwoar members will be abandoning their TV sets and having a stroll more often (possibly followed by a cold shower).