Diners deal with wine, etiquette and children

Time to answer some more culinary queries from readers. I receive numerous e-mails from diners telling me about their restaurants and dining experiences, often asking me for an opinion on a particular unhappy situation. Here are a few that I have received recently.

CH sent an e-mail about an incident she experienced while hosting a dinner party for clients at one of Calgary's new and trendy restaurants. Seems that when she ordered a bottle of wine, the waiter returned to say that the wine was out of stock. The same thing happened to her second choice, a similar wine, which was also in the same price range. Feeling pressured, and without any assistance from the server, CH quickly ordered a third wine that was similar in style but pricier. This one was in stock and was served.

CH feels that the service side of the wine situation was not as forthcoming as it should have been, and that the staff could have been more helpful. And that she should have been offered the third wine at the same price as the first two, instead of having to move up in price.

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Font:****CH has landed on a touchy subject. Thanks to the privatization of wine in Alberta, restaurants have a massive list of labels available to them. And many restaurants want to create a wine list that is unique and interesting. Problem is, sometimes the quantity is not there to back up the list. Not many places want to carry huge wine inventory, so a few cases of each wine are brought into the restaurant and when they are gone, the warehouse may or may not have stock left. Add to that the occasional delay in ordering and deliveries and the result is frequent gaps on the wine menu.

I spoke with a few sommeliers and restaurant managers who agreed with CH that she should have been offered the third, pricier wine at a cost comparable to the original request. And that offer should be initiated by the staff rather than waiting for CH to request it. It's not CH's fault that the wine was out of stock and she shouldn't feel pressured into pricier purchases. It's simply good customer service. Makes sense to me.

BB writes to say that she was at a Christmas dinner party for 10 people at a local restaurant. The evening featured a set menu with some of the side dishes served "family style." In other words, some dishes came on platters or in bowls that were meant for sharing.

BB writes that one of the guests seemed unclear on the concept of "passing" the dishes and that whenever a dish was passed to her, she simply put it down after serving herself. It was up to others, especially the fellow-- FT--seated beside her, to retrieve the dish and continue the passing. BB found this both disturbing and entertaining. And she wondered what she should do if ever seated beside a non-passer.

Good--and awkward--question. How do you comment on someone's lack of etiquette awareness without appearing to be mannerless yourself? It's not easily done. Perhaps while passing a dish, a gentle, "Please help yourself to these lovely yams and then pass them on to FT. I know they are his favourite."

By the way, kudos to FT for dealing expediently with the situation and not causing a fuss or embarrassment.

FD writes about a lovely lunch she had in a high-end restaurant that was disrupted by the young children of diners at a nearby table. Seems the three young mothers at the next table were also enjoying a leisurely lunch, but that their five babies and toddlers became bored quickly. According to FD, one child in particular marched around the table "crying, yelling, circling the tables, hollering 'mama, mama, mama,' for a half-hour"while the mama enjoyed her lunch and ignored the call. FD wonders what she, a parent who "didn't take her children to a fine dining establishment until they were old enough to sit and behave" should do.

Oh, dear. Free range is fine for chickens and cattle, but not nearly so pleasant for small children. Yet commenting on other people's parenting styles is treading into dangerous territory. A parent who blithely ignores the cries of a child for 30 minutes is not likely to take well to a fellow diner's requests for calm. So best not to go there. Beyond leaving the establishment quickly, there is little solace I can offer. If anyone has a better solution, I'd love to hear it.