Port by any other name

While “port” is now banned from a U.S. wine label — an agreement with the European Union grandfathered-in labels that previously used the term — Peltier Station, a winery in Lodi, has produced a new port-style wine made from zinfandel that doesn’t fall under the grandfather clause.

It has decided to use the name USB “hoping that consumers would make the connection [aha!] with that and the USB ports found on computers,” the drvino.com Web site said. “Just to drive the point home, the back label reads, in part “United States Bureau for trade signed an im____ant agreement with the European Union to protect ____ugal’s geographical indication of this type of wine….”, the Web site said.
(Next thing you know, the EU will want to change the name of the place where you anchor a boat.)

Wine some and lose some
Good news and bad news for the French wine industry.

The good news is that French legislators have approved the use of wine advertising online. Ads for wine had been banned on Web sites as part of a French health law that excluded ads in certain media but did not mention the Internet. The amendment says such ads must be limited to technical facts and not portray wine drinking as fun or healthy. The same amendment raised the legal drinking age to 18. It had been 16. The amendment also allows wine tasting at chateaux and wine festivals, which, under the previous interpretation, was banned.

The bad news: the European Union is going to allow vintners to blend red and white wine and call it rosé. This has vintners in Provence, which one called “the heartland of rosé,” up in arms. They say it will flood the market with poor quality wine and will destroy the hard-earned image they have worked for. In addition, they say, it could cost tens of thousands of jobs.

More bad news: Decanter.com reports that the French Ministry of Health has published guidelines that say, “The consumption of alcohol, and especially wine, is discouraged. This follows on the heels of findings by the French national cancer institute, which says even a small amount of alcohol can increase the risk of mouth and throat cancer by 168 percent. “Small daily doses of alcohol are the most harmful,” an institute executive said.

(Governments giveth and governments taketh away.)

Banned label terms

Looks like the European Union taketh from U.S. vintners, too.

There has been a protocol on the books of the EU that seeks to ban certain terms from use on labels on wine imported from the U.S., unless permission to use them is granted. In September 2008, the EU gave notice that as of March 10, 2009, that permission would be revoked.

So, as of now, the following terms cannot appear on a label destined for any of the EU member countries: “chateau,” “classic,” “clos,” “cream,” “crusted/crusting,” “fine,” “late bottled vintage,” “noble,” “ruby,” “superior,” “sur lie,” “tawny,” “vintage” and “vintage character.”

But vintners who have already shipped wine there needn’t worry — any wine that is already in Europe can be sold.

(And we think that direct shipping laws can be tough.)

The ultimate corkscrew

The purpose of a corkscrew is to remove a cork from a bottle of wine, right?

Rob Higgs, a British designer, has come up with one that is a Rube Goldberg-like (older folks will know who that is) invention that not only removes the cork, but it also pours the wine, and all you have to do is crank a handle.

Take a look at it in action – go to www.vinography.com and scroll down until you see “And for the Wine Lover Who Has Everything.”

(Some people are never happy. A few who saw it had complaints — it    doesn’t cut the foil, it’s good for pouring only one glass and it overfills.)

Leave your teenager at home

A mother, shopping at Tesco, a British-based supermarket and general merchandise store, accompanied by her 14-year-old daughter, put two bottles of wine in her shopping cart along with some other items.

When she checked out, the cashier demanded to see her daughter’s identification, and when she didn’t have any, said the woman could not buy the wine, apparently because the cashier thought the wine might be for the daughter, according to telegraph.co.uk. The two bottles were set aside, the other items were paid for, the daughter took the bags outside to their car, while the mother went back to the same cashier one minute later and bought the wine.

Store supervisors backed the cashier at the time, but Tesco officials have since backed down and apologized.

(Sounds like some of the dumb excuses used in opposition to direct shipping of wine in this country.)

Quote of the week

“Why beer is better than wine: ‘....human feet are conspicuously absent from beer making.’” – Steve Mirsky, Scientific American (May, 2007)