Norman comes calling, Augusta needs to make good

My first concrete memory of golf was the 1996 Masters.

The humiliation, defeat and outright choking of Greg Norman that Sunday was a fitting introduction to a sport that is a sly shyster. At least I knew what awaited me.

I forgot about it a year later after Tiger began sacking Bobby Jones’ Georgian Eden, but you can bet Norman never forgot about it. The Shark is ultra-successful now in business. With his course design company, his turf managment business, his clothing, his wine, etc., Norman probably has enough money to buy some country.

But he ain’t got no green jacket.

And don’t him let him fool you. Norman wants one of those sports coats badly. Why else would the 54-year-old play in two of the last three majors when he’s shown no interest in competitive golf since Eldrick Woods started strangling the tour?

Norman started his first Masters in seven years on Thursday. He posted a respectable 2-under 70, but is five shots back of tournament leader Chad Campbell. There is no way Norman will win.

But I still will root my behind off for him. That’s because few people have been more shabbily treated by a golf tournament than the Shark.

There’s no reason to feel sorry for him. He has two British Open titles and just married the always enchanting Chris Evert.

Still, Norman’s owed quite a tab in Augusta, Ga., and he deserves a little armchair encouragement.

Besides the 1996 debacle that crowned sourpuss Nick Faldo with his third green jacket, Norman has wiffed on two other Masters titles. Both, really, were more taken from him than thrown away.

In 1986, Norman was tied with Jack Nicklaus on the 18th and final hole. The Golden Bear had already completed his charge for the 18th and last major title in his trophy case, turning the crowd from Augusta apt into a Fenway fracas. No one was going to beat Nicklaus that year.

Norman bogeyed No. 18 and lost by one.

In 1987, Larry Mize – think the 1980’s Corey Pavin – castrated the Shark with an impossible chip-in during sudden death.
Augusta owes Norman.

This doesn’t stop with Norman at the Masters. There’s some poor soul at every major, someone who has either been tread upon or tread upon himself in some embarrassing manner.

A short list of the best of these wretches:

U.S. Open 4, Phil Mickelson 0

Tight U.S. Open fairways don’t appear to suit golf’s most famous free-swinger. But Lefty has finished in second place four times at the Open.

The most public of these was 2006’s double-bogey at the 18th at Winged Foot to lose by one. (I don’t have to call him an idiot, Mickelson did that himself.)

But Mickelson has been the victim of fate, too, most notably in 1999’s last-hole loss to Payne Stewart. Like the Bear in 1986 at the Masters, no one was going to beat Stewart that day.

British Open 1, Jean Van de Velde 0

True, Van de Velde only lost out once on the Open Championship, but it was one heck of a TKO.

Coming to the last hole of the 1999 Open at Carnoustie, all the Frenchman needed was a double-bogey 6 to win the Claret Jug. He made 7. He lost in a playoff to Paul Lawrie.

He was last seen suffering from a mysterious joint ailment and has since retired.

PGA Championship 3, Arnold Palmer 0

Here’s a dirty little secret: Nobody really cares for the PGA Championship. It’s for people like Mark Brooks and John Daly and Davis Love III to win, and for Tiger to pad his stats.

Still, it was the one major Palmer never won, ending his playing days only a Wanamaker Trophy short of the career grand slam. The King came close a few times, finishing second thrice, but never took home golf’s forgotten major.

Spencer Campbell