The best holiday parties aren't necessarily the ones with the biggest budgets.

Memorable holiday parties spring from engaged, relaxed hosts, and no one can relax if party expenses are pushing budgets to the limit or winding up nerves tighter than a dreidel.

Breathe deeply and read on for words of wisdom on everything from food to flowers from savvy experts on The Bee's staff and elsewhere.

Everyone, including the host, should enjoy this event. Focus on the guests as much as the food, drinks and décor, said Bob Blumer, host of "Glutton for Punishment" on Food Network.

"The same way dogs can smell fear, people can, too," he said in a phone interview from his Los Angeles home. "If you get to a party and the host is flummoxed because they've been working so hard at everything, it doesn't set the right tone."

Look for recipes you can prepare in advance and warm up on the day everyone arrives. Choose dishes that require little preparation, or do your prep work ahead of time if you're the type of person who enjoys cooking with an audience.

There are many dishes that are cheap and easy but taste rich and luxurious.

Stuff dates with Parmagiano Reggiano and wrap them in bacon, so easy that "a 5-year-old could prep them," Blumer said. Turn skewers of chicken into a conversation starter by presenting them in a whole pineapple. Rub sourdough bread with garlic, grill it and drizzle with olive oil, salt and pepper for a pared-down bruschetta.

"People can't stop eating it, and really, it's just bread," he said.

The 'o' word

Outsourcing isn't a dirty word.

Making a menu of appetizers from scratch can sometimes be a way to save money, but not always.

That's where caterers like Linda Storelli of Rayna's Catering can help. The company offers Holiday Parties Express, a menu of catered items that clients can pick up themselves or have delivered for a fee. Costs range from $12 to $25 per person.

Whoever makes the food, the important thing is that "it has to come from your heart and you have to stick to budget," Storelli said.

Outsourcing doesn't have to mean hiring a caterer. If you are having close friends or family at the party, ask if they would mind sharing the cooking workload.

Prepare a list of what you know each guest makes well. Compliment the guest on it and ask if he or she could bring it because it would pair well with what you're making.

Fill up on hors d'oeuvres

Forego the formal holiday sit-down dinner, which tends to get Donald Trump expensive by virtue of expectation.

A party of hors d'oeuvres can be more fun and far cheaper, said Claire Robinson, chef and host of Food Network's "5 Ingredient Fix" and "Food Network Challenge."

Invest in one amazing appetizer, like Robinson's mini beef Wellingtons and supplement with simpler (and less expensive) hors d'oeuvres like spiced nuts and Robinson's rosemary parmesan shortbread (see recipe on this page).

At the store or farmers market, look for a cranberry chutney or jalapeño or red pepper jelly that you can drizzle over cream cheese. Add stone-ground crackers to surround it.

Want to really impress guests? Buy a big hunk of Parmigiano Reggiano at a warehouse store, use what you need for your menu, and then cut the rest up and give it away as party favor, she suggested.

"You can put it in a really great piece of cheesecloth, wrap it up and give them the (shortbread) recipe," she suggested during a phone interview from New York City.

A cut above

If a sit-down dinner party is a must, ditch the fancy prime ribs and filet mignons, which are most expensive this time of year. Opt instead for cuts like the New York roast (also called a Manhatten roast) or a center-cut cross rib roast, said Mike Carroll, butcher and meat department manager for Corti Brothers.

"There are a lot of middle meats that are less expensive because we're out of barbecue season," he said.

Corti sells an "Emeril Mike Roast" – a center-cut cross rib roast that's been seasoned and tied up with a little extra fat to enhance flavor – for $7.99 a pound. A prime rib roast currently is about $17.99 per pound.

Pork tenderloin roasts and ham also are good values this time of year, Carroll said.

Set the mood

Those with big budgets might be able to splurge on lavish bouquets of flowers in winter white hues, but if you're looking to save money, create a beautiful bouquet from supermarket flowers and decorate the rest of the house with ornaments in glass vases.

Color combinations such as white and metallic convey elegance, while bright colors like reds and greens are more playfully festive.

Simple centerpieces such as cranberries floating in a glass bowl of water topped with a single white mum are beautiful, said Kevin Cohee, owner of Do An Event in Sacramento, a party planning firm that has done everything from dinners in private homes to Robert Mondavi's memorial service.

It's also important to think through the party details. If the budget allows, consider hiring a housekeeper or cash-strapped college student to help out before and during the party (going rate is about $20 an hour, plus gratuity). If children are coming to the party, consider hiring an energetic sitter and relegating the children's activities to one area of the home.

"Kids running at will – it stifles the party," Cohee said. "The kids are under your feet, and you're on guard and can't relax and have an adult conversation."

If tablecloths are looking worn, head to the fabric store and buy pieces of lace big enough to fit the table and place them over the tablecloth, turning what's old instantly new again.

White votive candles are an inexpensive addition to tables, mantels and shelves that add instant elegance and ambience. Stores like Cost Plus World Market sell bags of votive candles for a few dollars. Buy unscented candles because the scented ones often overwhelm the smell of food.

IKEA is great resource for inexpensive decorations and party supplies like napkins (paper and cloth), dishes and glassware.

And speaking of glassware, don't skimp.

Stemware can be rented for as little as 25 cents per piece from companies such as Rent-Rite in Sacramento.

"Drinking wine out of a plastic cup – it just doesn't let your guest be treated special," Cohee said.

Don't forget the fun

The worst thing a holiday party can be is stodgy and boring. Do something unexpected, and you'll almost guarantee a party that guests won't soon forget.

Serve a holiday dinner of chili and cornbread on fine china. Scrawl funny quotes on chalkboards and prop them up around the house.

Lisa Gnat, Toronto author of "Bite Me: A Stomach-Satisfying, Visually Gratifying, Fresh-Mouthed Cookbook," (Kyle Books, $24.95, 272 pages) said she and her sister used turkey basters as place settings at their Thanksgiving table last month.

"When people come in with a laugh, they're already having a good time," she said. "Your party is already a success."