Beer keeps men happy - even when it's served from a teapot

Today we start with two tales celebrating the biggest genius in the business world: the traveling Chinese shopkeeper. These guys spread themselves around the planet selling the right thing at the right time in the right place.

1) A man-creche for babysitting bored males who hate shopping existed in Singapore several decades ago, said reader R Mahendra Raj of Kuala Lumpur (referring to a so- called "new" proposal from IKEA, the furniture chain store). At the heart of a cluster of clothes shops in Serangoon Road, a smart Chinese retailer set up a coffee shop (which served beer), he said. "The longer the woman shopped, the longer was the happy hour for the men."

One day the retailer noticed that the women eventually ran out of shopping cash and the men ran out of beer money. So he added one more store between the boutiques and the coffee shop: "A pawn shop."

2) A reader who works as a security consultant told me he was dying for a beer with his lunch but found himself in a swelteringly hot part of the United Arab Emirates where alcohol was illegal. "Sorry, you can only have tea," the waiter at the Chinese restaurant told him. He reluctantly agreed. The waiter re- appeared with two teapots, asking: "What type of tea would you like? Heineken or Carlsberg?"

Readers also discussed a "manliness test" for Asian males, who have been accused of being wimpier than Western ones. Give- away signs include: Real men don't carry man-bags; they shout at the TV; they don't drink through straws.

Otis Schindler, a masculine Asian reader, said it is a matter of vocabulary. "Real men don't shop, we pillage," he said. "And we don't dress. We `gear up."'

A macho reader named Mike volunteered to answer questions:

1) Q: What is a vegetable? Mike: "A food item which comes out of a bottle marked `Ketchup."'

2) Q: Have you ever had an opinion on what color curtains would fit best in a particular room? Mike: "No. This can be bypassed with the cunning use of zero curtains."

3) Q: How many colors are there in your wardrobe? Mike: "At least four: light black, dark black, medium black and almost black."

4) Q: How many names can you think for the color red? Mike: "One. Red."

Reader Sri Ram is also a Real Man. When someone gave him a salad for lunch, he said: "Starter is there. Where is the food?" But he did claim to know three words for the color red: "Ferrari, Bugatti and Pagani."

Female reader Sunita Lau summed up: "The key difference between men and women is that men have no idea what they look like. That's why they comb their hair over their bald patch and think they look good in Speedos."