The ubiquitous Nicolas (no, not President Sarkozy, but the equally omnipresent French wine shop) proves that we British know a lot, lot more about wine than our Gallic neighbours. Founded in 1822, the company’s distinctive maroon-and-mustard-faced shops are a familiar sight in Paris and elsewhere. French friends talk warmly of its wines and, remarkably, are happy to buy all their bottles there. Like Oddbins, it is owned by Castel and part of a family company.

    Surprisingly, Nicolas continues to be the biggest wine retailer in France. Initially, when it opened here, I was smitten by this little bit of la belle France in Britain, and enthused about the extras, including gift-wrapping. Almost two decades on, I have had very few good and almost no great bottles of wine from this off-licence chain (which insists on calling itself “a French specialist wine merchant”). Nicolas’ recent inaugural UK tasting – yup, it took almost two decades – was an absolute disgrace. Alain Favereau, Nicolas’ wine buyer, should be guillotined for selecting the appalling, mostly appellation contrôlée wine included.

    Favereau has been with Nicolas for many years, and thanks to the company’s “long-term relationships… aims to identify the wines that best represent the typicity of a region, which we can offer to the consumer at a fair price”. Bunkum. Of the 40 wines I struggled through, grimmest were an evil run of clarets, particularly ’01 Cormeil Figeac, £19.99, and ’04 Tour Prignac, £14.95.

    Quite how Favereau expects any of us to keep this dross down is a mystery. By the time I got to the dire, lacklustre ’06 St. Joseph from the well-known and usually quality-minded Cave de Saint-Désirat (£12.99), of which both Waitrose and Sainsbury’s sell cheaper and much more delicious examples, Favereau’s buying policy was clear. Nicolas seems to be buying the lowliest wine within each appellation still entitled to the name.

    Favereau’s defence is that, “The wines of France have been created to accompany the food of the region, and as such may not always be wines that are universally accepted by every palate.” Certainly not by discerning British drinkers who now have access to some of the finest wines, not just in our off-licences but in our supermarkets, too, at prices that easily undercut Nicolas.

    Nicolas’ shops are no better than its wines, with odd, dusty window displays, and even the smart, besuited staff looking bored and ill at ease. Still, if you must buy wine here, the 2007 Côte de Provence Carte Noire St Tropez Rosé is down £1 to £8.50 and pepperily seductive. Or try 2007 Mâcon Terroir Maconnais at £7.49, with its crunchy red fruits. Equally summery is the raspberry-and-redcurrant-stashed 2007 Réserve des Vignerons Saumur Rouge (£6.95), while the 2004 Premium de Crouseilles Madiran oozes with burnt, plummy spice (£11.99).